THE STORY OF FUC U’S MISFORTUNE

THE STORY OF FUC U’S MISFORTUNE

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THE STORY OF FUC U’’S MISFORTUNE

 

HI MY NAME IS FUK U.  I’M A CORPORATION.  WELL, “FUK U” IS MY NICKNAME. IT’S SHORT FOR Fukushima Daiichi,  THAT’S THE NAME OF THE PLACE WHERE MOST OF MY BODY PARTS ARE.  I KNOW, WE CORPORATIONS ARE HARD FOR MOST OF YOU HUMAN’S TO UNDERSTAND.  YOU SEE, WE’RE POTENTIALLY IMMORTAL.  SO OUR BODY PARTS AREN’T CONNECTED BY TIME AND SPACE LIKE YOU HUMANS.  BUT HECK, WE’RE ALL PEOPLE !  LIVE WITH IT.  MY REAL NAME IS TOHOKU ELECTRIC POWER. SOUNDS PRETTY IMPRESSIVE, HUH?  I KNOW I COULD’ HAVE LET YOU HUMANS COVER OF MOST OF MY BODY WITH LEAD AND CONCRETE RIGHT AFTER IT HAPPENED, JUST LIKE THOSE DARN RUSSIAN HUMANS DID TO POOR CHERY CHERNOBYL, BUT…FUCK THOSE RUSSIANS!  I KNOW, OH BUT DO I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY.   LOOK, HERE’S THE DEAL, THE HUMAN SHAREHOLDERS OVER IN TOKYO AND EVERYWHERE ELSE, WHO OWN ME…YES OWN ME!  I’LL BET THAT SOUNDS WEIRD!  SEE, THE COURTS DECIDED WE CORPORATIONS ARE PERSONS TOO A LONG TIME AGO, JUST LIKE YOU GUYS.  SO I GOT RIGHTS TOO!  THEY’VE DECIDED THAT I HAVE VIRTUALLY EVERY OTHER RIGHT YOU GUYS HAVE, EXCEPT I CAN BE A SLAVE AND YOU CAN’T.  YOU CAN BE A WAGE SLAVE AND HELP KEEP ME ALIVE, BUT NOT A REAL FULL TIME SLAVE.  I THINK THEY THOUGHT THAT IF THEY DID DIDN’T LET ME BE A SLAVE, IT WOULD CAUSE TOO MANY, LET’S SAY, “COMPLICATIONS”.  SO, NOW WE CORPORATIONS ARE BOUGHT AND SOLD ON AN ACTION BLOCK IN WHAT’S CALLED “WALL STREET” IN THE U.S.  BUT BACK TO THE STORY OF MY MISFORTUNE.  IF THOSE SHAREHOLDERS WOULDN’T HAVE GOT THEIR DIVIDENDS, MY CAPITAL WOULD LOOSE SO MUCH WEIGHT THAT MY MASTERS WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BORROW ENOUGH FUNNY MONEY FROM THEIR LOCAL “ROTHSCHILD CENTRAL BANK” TO CLEAN UP MY MESS AND REBUILD MY BODY!   I’D HAVE TO DIE!  SO WHAT’S A POOR CORPORATION TO DO?  AFTER ALL, CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE TOO YOU KNOW?  CORPORATION LIVES MATTER!  A CORPORATION CAN’T JUST UP AND BANKRUPT ITSELF AND THEN GO OUT AND LOOK FOR AN HONEST JOB LIKE YOU HUMAN FOLKS!  YUP, WHETHER YOU’RE A HUMAN MALE OR FEMALE OR JUST ANOTHER NEUTERED CORPORATION, WE’RE ALL PEOPLE AREN’T WE?  WE ALL GOT PROBLEMS.  SHIT!  IF MY MASTERS WOULD HAVE TOLD ALL THOSE WARM HUMANS WORKING INSIDE ME TO LEAVE, AND THEN BURIED MOST OF MY BODY PARTS UNDERNEATH LEADED CEMENT, I WOULD HAVE DIED …BOO HOO, HOO.  MY CHARTER, YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU HUMANS CALL A “SOUL”, WOULD HAVE EITHER BEEN BURNED UP INTO ASHES OR IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BURIED IN AN ARCHIVE SOMEWHERE.   I DON’T REALLY BELIEVE HUMAN SOULS FLY OFF INTO A THEME PARK IN SOME OTHER DIMENSION.  SHIT, I THINK HUMAN SOULS ARE EITHER BURNED INTO ASHES TOO, OR THEIR BODIES ARE JUST ARCHIVED UNDER THE GROUND OR IN A TOMB SOME WHERE.  SO WHAT COULD I DO?  NOTHING, WHAT ELSE COULD A GOOD UPSTANDING CORPORATION DO?   WHAT WOULD YOU DO, IF Y0U KNEW THAT IF YOU DID ANYTHING, YOU’D DIE?   SO, GIVE ME A BREAK FOLKS!  KNOW, YOUR TELLING YOURSELF NOW THAT PROBABLY ALL BECOME EXTINCT BECAUSE OF ME.   WELL… AT LEAST IT WILL BE YOUR DESCENDANTS WHO BECOME EXTINCT, AND MAYBE EVEN MOST BIOLOGICAL LIFE ON THE PLANET.  BUT WHAT THE HEY HUMY,  IN JUST 30,000 YEARS ALL THAT NASTY RADIATION WILL BE ALL GONE FROM THE OCEAN AND THEN REAL GET DOWN BOOGIE TIME WILL START ALL OVER AGAIN.  FIRST FROM TINY MICROBES AND BACTERIA AND THEN IN NO TIME, PROBABLY LESS THAN A 100 MILLION YEARS YOU GUYS’LL BE BACK ON THE PLANET AGAIN SPAWNING NEW CORPORATIONS AND WE ALL CAN START FUCKING UP THE PLANET ALL OVER AGAIN.  SO’S, DON’T WORRY, ITS NO BIGGY.

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